Friday, July 26, 2013

being good while being bad

I hate this car-hunting thing.  I see something that I really like, and I get excited, and then I call or email or whatever and find out it's been sold, or there's something wrong about it, or it's really a car-flipper selling it, or it starts to sound even better and then it gets sold (like that guy yesterday... grrr).  I'm trying hard not to let the mild panic of seeing so little that fits my demands as Vera's transmission grinds its way into oblivion scare me into acting too rashly and getting something that I won't be happy with in the long run.  I hate the headache, though.  I hate the constant anxiety

But enough about cars.  I was good so far this week and have gone to the gym twice, and I'm feeling pretty confident that I'll get may ass in there again tomorrow.  I have to admit, I rather like having an "excuse" to go to the gym.  I no longer feel like I'm being self-indulgent to take time away from the lab to lift.

Is it an odd thing that I feel like I'm somehow being selfish my looking after my body?  Am I worried about vanity (because doing something which is that odd combination of challenging and enjoyable can't be good for me, right)?  Do other people feel like this?  Is it normal, or new, that taking care of one's health in an active way is something that society views as simultaneously esteemed and vainglorious?  Or does society even think that, or is it something in my own head?

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