On Tuesday I went to my climbing gym. I did some bouldering and discovered that more than being weaker (which I am), I am less trusting of myself and my body. I experienced this after coming back from breaking my ankle and it's the hardest thing to deal with. Losing faith in my own strength and abilities is hard, and the faith comes back so much slower than the strength.
It was so good being back, however. I was reminded how much I really love the regulars there, I got into a conversation about virology with one of the regulars (there's a small contingent of science grad students from neighbouring universities), shared some chili that someone made, and bouldered with one of my favourite people there. I adore the guy because he's Mr. Enthusiastic: alway psyched, energetic, positive, and having fun. He's the sort of guy you feel you could tell anything to and he'd never be taken aback or judge against you. If he was a lot older or I was a lot younger, I'd be seriously crushed out on the guy.
He was wearing a simple bracelet of 5 mm cordalette sealed to itself at the ends. I noticed one of his other close friends at the gym was sporting an identical one, and so I commented and joked that I wanted to be part of the club, too. At the end of the night Mr. E brought in some cord and a lighter from his car and set me up. It's a simple thing, but at the time it really amused me.
The next day we traded some text messages and Mr. E said:
Just remember, on those days that you are feeling down, look at your bracelet and remember that you got people that care a lot about you and got your back no matter what :)
It's just a cute sentiment, but it meant a lot to me. I've been struggling with a lot of stressors lately, and it even though it seems like such a naïve thing that a few centimetres of nylon can carry weight, I do find myself seeing it every so often and feeling a little settled in the world.